hw much will u pay me 4 a start


Before this eight-month foray, Rabbi Ben Zona appeared in such as adventures as

CIRCUMSPECTION
IF THE FALAFEL LOOK LIKE GOLD, and
FAMILY PLOT.

Cast

Sam Coker, Central Bank of Nigeria (not!)
Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins - a chattered accountant
Charles Chedom - the name under which the scammer means to pick up the money order from his victim (appears only by mention)

vs.

Rabbi Ben Zona - humble shepherd of his flock, and dedicated family man
Owata Dikedjua - a legal advisor (appears only by mention)
Mimi Pontipine - the Rabbi's personal assistant (makes a brief appearance)


I was really having fun getting them off-script but I think it lost its momentum and started to drag on a bit. I was still willing to give it a go - still might - but they didn't seem too keen.

I present Mr. Sam Coker and Mrs. Anne Jenkins. Roll 'em.


Sam Coker
August 22, 2009

From: Sam Coker (samcoker25@gmail.com)
Subject: This Is My Last Email To You
IP: 82.128.71.151 (Lagos, Nigeria)

FROM THE DESK OF SAM COKER
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
INTERNATIONAL OPERATION DEPT
PAYMENT CENTER OFFICE
VICTORIA ISLAND
LAGOS-NIGERIA .

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona

This is to inform you that you have the sum of 11.5 million dollars with this fund can from the MTN network this is a communication company that issue out over 100 million dollars to 10 lucky winners in the world which you are one of the beneficiary, bear this in mind that it happened 3 years ago which we have been sending you email for you too come and claim your fund but you ignored us i don't know why.

(This might actually be true - there are just so many to keep track of sometimes. I also have been addressed by name, though with scammers sharing details with each other it doesn't necessarily mean anything.)

Last two years some one stole your information from our data base in our company after they know you have the sum of $11,500,000.00 United State Dollars they made you believe that they are the only one that can transfer the fund to you, we know they have been colleting money from you telling one or two liars given you hope that they trying their best to transfer the fund from you.

I want you to know that we have caught some of them but some are still contacting you the only that will stop is if you stop every email of transfer that is coming Central Bank of Nigeria that is the only way can stop them.

Now some one came to how bank to inform us that you have been receiving all the email we have been sending to you but due to your position at hand and you believe that is a scam you don't want to reply the email that is why you sent him to come and claim the fund as a compensation of what he has done for you this person's name is Jerome Lewis he is from United State Of America.

We are sending this last email after this email we are not going to send you any more email about this fund because right now we are ready to transfer the fund to him because my boss told me that if you did not reply this email within 48 hours we are going to transfer the fund to him, if you want me to send you is international passport for you to confirm if you know him or not i am going to send it to you.

For your information in case you are ready to claim the fund we have all your information that we need to transfer the fund but you need to send us your information again for yours to be sure that you are the one who is replying this email that is if you still want the fund to be transfer to you be rest assured that this is no scam.

That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria.

Await your responds

Yours faithfully

Mr Sam Coker
+2348032155988

Rabbi Ben Zona
August 22, 2009

Dear Mr. Coker,

You must be mistaken. I've never received an email from you, and I know nothing about money at the Central Bank of Nigeria. I've had many dealings with West Africa but I'm sure I'd remember that I'd have $11.5M lying around somewhere, though with my millions lying in offshore accounts none of this really surprises me.

What is this MTN network? Are they known by another name?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Sam Coker
August 22, 2009

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
This is to inform you that we have confirm with the information that you gave to us and the one we and realized that we are dealing with the right person now we are ready to transfer the fund to you please i want you get back to us with which of this option that i am going to state in the email on how you want your fund to be transfer the you in your country.

First if you want your fund been transfer to you via online banking system please get back to us state with this code ( TRANSFER FUND VIA ONLINE BANKING CODE 012) as your subject when replying this email.

Second if you want your fund been transfer to you via our own diplomatic system please get back to us state with this code ( TRANSFER FUND VIA DIPLOMATIC SYSTEM CODE 013) as your subject when replying this email.

That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria.

Await your responds Yours faithfully
Mr Sam Coker

Rabbi Ben Zona
August 24, 2009

Dear Mr. Coker,

Can you please refresh my memory with the information I've given you? Or at the very least show me my bank statement?

What does this mean: That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria. It's funny that you mention me helping you fight scams in Nigeria. I'm not sure what this has to do with my $11.5M at hand, though. I have a barrister in Nigeria named Owata Dikedjua who is also fighting scams, and has the track record to prove it. I've sent him over $24,000US to release a secondary fund, which he assures me is on my way in the next day or two. You can reach him at xxx@xxx.com and ask him yourself.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Sam Coker
August 24, 2009

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
This is to inform you that you have been scam by your so call lawyer in my country but you will not believe me because you have put up to $24,000 US, if I must tell you that the fund he want to transfer to you will never get to you I know you will never believe me.

Those are the people that stole your date from us and they us it to tell you that you have some money with them they went to transfer to you, all do if that can of must be transfer outside money country you have to pay some money but not up to that amount which is $24,000 US the highest you will use in making that kind of transfer is not more then $3000 US and the money will refunded back to you.

Look I am not trying to pull your legs here or making a fool of you but this $11,500,000.00 US that is with us belongs to you, if you really want to get your fund get back to us with a reason answer. Has for the your dates that is with us I can not send it to via email because I am afraid of hackers just have it mind that we have confirm that you are really owner of the fund.

Once more if you want this fund to be transfer to you get back to me with this code (012) so I will know you want your fund to be transferred via online.

That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria.

Await your responds
Yours faithfully
Mr Sam Coker

Sam Coker

(and then, 18 minutes later)

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
This is to inform you that if the lawyer is real let give you is website for you to see for self.

Await your responds
Yours faithfully
Mr Sam Coker
Rabbi Ben Zona
August 27, 2009

Hello, Mr. Coker,
Of course he's real, don't be ridiculous. I've paid him thousands of dollars, but he's helping me with some key documents to make me a bit richer. He told me that his website is under construction for security purpose.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Sam Coker
August 27, 2009

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
This is to inform you that before we can transfer the fund to you because the account is already open but the problem is that the account has been dement for over 3 years.

And before we can do any transfer with that account it has to be re-activated and that is why we ask you to pay $250 dollars to activate the account before any transfer will be done.

If you pay the $250 dollars it will be added to the $11,500,000.00 dollars that you have with us so the total money that will transfer to you is $11,500,250.00 dollars.

This is the information you will use in making the payment.

Receiver's Name: Charles Chedom
Location: Lagos Nigeria
Text Question: Dr. Rabbi
Answer: Ben

I want you once you make the payment and get back to us with the MTCN number for easy pick up, we will activate your account with in 24 hours and we will give you our website with a user name and password for you to transfer your fund from our bank.

That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria.

Await your responds
Yours faithfully
Mr Sam Coker

Rabbi Ben Zona
August 30, 2009

Dear Sam,
You quote me an utterly ridiculous bank fee: $250 for an account that's been demented for 3 years? Aunt Shprintza Zlata has been demented far longer and costs far less.

Why don't you foot that bill and take it out of my $11,500,000.00 dollars? Better yet, you pay it yourself in person, and I'll write you a cheque for 10 times the amount.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Sam Coker
September 2, 2009

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona

This is to inform you that we can not do that at all if I have the money to pay for it I would have paid the money. Please kindly get back to me with all your information because I want to process some thing in your account to know if you can make the transfer with out paying any money.

That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria.

Await your responds
Yours faithfully
Mr Sam Coker

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 3, 2009

You're a bank, right? You can't shell out $250? I'm happy to wait for your next payday if you're a bit short.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins

(but then, someone else comes out of the woodwork, with an opening gambit I've seen many many times)

September 5, 2009

From: Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins (mrs.annejenkins@gmail.com)
Subject: Hello Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

Hello Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

I am Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside in District of Columbia 20534. My residential address is as follows 320 First Street, NW Washington, District of Columbia 20534, United States, am thinking of moving since I am now wealthy. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $42,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet Mr. Sam Coker, who is the member of Central Bank Of Nigeria and a Head of Transfer Department, and I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

He took me to the Governor of Central Bank of Nigeria. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds amounteing to $15,000,000.00 Moreover,Mr. Sam Coker, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your email as one of the scam victims, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you. I will advise you to contact Mr. Sam Coker

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name : Mr. Sam Coker
Email: samcoker25@yahoo.it
Phone: +2348032155988

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.

The only money I paid after I meet Mr. Sam Coker was just $580 for the paper works, take note of that.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
320 First Street, NW
Washington, District of Columbia 20534 USA.

[The story of ATTILA THE LAD opens almost exactly this way.]

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 7, 2009

Dear Mrs. Jenkins,
Thank you so much for contacting me! I have already been in touch with Mr. Coker. What were you doing in Nigeria to earn that kind of payment?

Why didn't Mr. Coker take care of the payment himself and you just pay him back later on?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
September 7, 2009

Hello Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,
Thanks for getting back to me and it very good news that you been in contact with Mr. Coker because is the only person that will help you get you fund transfer to you all those email you have been receive are all scammers they will keep on telling you that they need some money before they could transfer your fund to you why is a lie.

The reason why I pay that money is because they have to re-activate the account Mr. Coker can pay the money for because I am the owner of the account that is why I paid that money

The only money I paid after I meet Mr. Sam Coker was just $580 for the paper works, take note of that.

Thank You and Be Blessed.
Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 8, 2009

Hello, Mrs. Jenkins! Thank you for writing back.
My trepidation in sending money ahead of time to Mr. Coker is well-founded. Thousands of dollars are sent to Africa from Western countries every year, as that area of the world is rife with scam artists, the very sort Mr. Coker purports to be combatting daily.

I also haven't seen any proof that this money actually exists, nor do I remember specifically working on a contract in West Africa, nor remember ever visiting the country in the first place. Do you think this would pose a problem, or am I needlessly worrying?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
September 8, 2009

I will like you to know that every thing you said is true if you do not see what you are paying them you will have that believe that it is a scam that was the same feeling I have before until I meet Mr. Coker and he was the person that made it clear to me that you donŐt have believe some before you can know it is the truth all you have to do is to follow your mind.

I want you to know that Mr. Coker is a real person and not fake.
Rabbi Ben Zona
September 8, 2009

Are you saying then that I should go and meet him before I pay anything?
Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
September 8, 2009

If you can go and see him before you pay the do that but if you have better things to do then pay the money to him via western union because I contact him this morning on be half of you and he told me that your money is still with that you have to get back to on how you will make the payment, so I will advice you to get back via email or telephone to know what you will do about your money because it is really and not a joke I have seen it for my self . have it at the back of your mind the only money I paid to then is only $580 dollars.
Rabbi Ben Zona
September 10, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
Why are you contacting him on my behalf? Respectfully, you don't even know me. Though ever since my personal secretary left my employ I find myself at a loss to organise the most basic of affairs, so I thank you for that. You wouldn't by any chance want to take over the job, would you? I offer competitive pay and full benefits: medical, dental, and horizontal.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
September 10, 2009

Get back to me with the full information you want to offer me and the details because i am looking for a company to invest my money on...........................get back to if you really mean ir. A.J
Rabbi Ben Zona
September 13, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
I'm not an investor, nor do I have a company to invest in. I was merely extending an offer to work as my personal assistant. I pay good money. What say you?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 13, 2009

To: Sam Coker

Dear Mr. Coker,
Who is Mrs. Annette Jenkins?

The reason I'm asking is that I need a job reference. She has applied to work as my personal assistant, and I'd need a character reference. Would you mind at all providing me with some feedback?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
September 13, 2009

i am in for it hw much will u pay me 4 a start nw let me knw....get back to me
Rabbi Ben Zona
September 14, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
What on earth happened to your spelling? I cannot pay anyone with atrocious grammar and spelling such as yourself.

Shortcuts will not do at all when working for me. Compose for me a proper English message.

I will make an offer based on your response.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Sam Coker
September 15, 2009

Attn: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Thanks for your email I will like you to know that I am very sorry that I reply late to your email I went to a seminal, Mrs. Annette Jenkins is one of you people that we have not paid them their money but we have paid miss Mrs. Annette Jenkins her money.

She is a very nice woman the little time I spend with I have notice that she is a very nice person I believe she will be of a help to you. As for you fund what is going on you donŐt want to claim you fund any more.

I have told that we can not deduct the money you are suppose from the fund and the owner of the fund is the only person that can pay money inside the account that is why I ask you to go and look for money so that you can transfer your fund.

That is all for now and please do not reply all the email you see in your email address by that way you are helping us to fight scam in Nigeria.

Await your responds
Yours faithfully
Mr Sam Coker

(I'm fairly sure that these two are two different people. Different fonts and sizes, etc. Different mangling of the English language. But you never know.)

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 21, 2009

Mr. Coker,
Thanks for the referral. Have you heard from her? I haven't heard anything since I last wrote her. Do you suppose she's OK?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona

(thought I'd try one last kick at the can)

October 7, 2009

Mrs. Jennings,
It appears that our Mr. Coker has given you a glowing reference. When can you start?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
October 9, 2009

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
I am very sorry for the delay in respond of your email, now you want me to work with you i will like to know your location and the name of your Company with monthly salary you will be paying me let me know if it is ok by me.

Get back to me with all what i have ask about.

Mrs Anne Jenkins.

Rabbi Ben Zona
October 11, 2009

Mrs Jenkins,
If at all you are still interested in becoming a personal assistant, you cannot simply disappear and reappear as you've demonstrated. A personal assistant would need to be at my beck and call 24/7.

I pay very competitive wages, but I would like you tell me first what you had in mind. If it is a fair price, I will see if I can match it. Though I wonder, with your newfound wealth as a result of our fine Mr. Sam Coker, what leads me to believe you still need to work as a personal assistant?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
October 11, 2009

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
I am very sorry i told you in my last email that i was very busy right now i am in Nigeria i down here some of my papers i left here when i cam here the last time.

If you pay very competitive wage then i have no problem to worry about but i will like to know your country and your company location, what i will like you to pay monthly is $1,500 Dollars but you can not pay that let me know now.

Get back to me with all what i have ask about.

Mrs Anne Jenkins.

($1,500/month? Obviously she seems to have forgotten she's a multimillionaire...)

Rabbi Ben Zona
October 14, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
I am more than happy to pay $1,500 for an extremely capable personal assistant. I must first get you to fill out this job application first. It's a real nightmare, this damned paperwork. It really is a hell of a nuisance. Something ought to be done about it, but that's the shul board for you.

It's merely a technicality of course, as I like the cut of your jib.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(I attached the following job application form. Click to enlarge the images.)

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
October 14, 2009

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
I want you to let me know the location of your company so i will know if i have to start preparing my flight ticket to the location of your company. And i will like you to pay me now 30 % of my salary now so i will use it to pay for my ticket to your country.

Mrs Anne Jenkins

(she attached the form with one page filled out)
Rabbi Ben Zona
October 15, 2009

Dear Mrs. Jenkins,
Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves? You haven't even been hired yet and you want us to pay you? I don't know how it works on your side of the world, but that certainly isn't how it works here.

Incidentally, the board of directors will never accept your job application. Why, you've only filled out half the form! I suggest you have another bash at it. When it's through, we'll send out the other stuff you need to give us, banking information, that kind of thing.

We are located in Kfar Bamba, Israel, a small village in the north of the country, outside of Kiryat Zevel just beyond Kibbutz Shiksa.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona
October 20, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,

How are you getting on with that job application?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
October 22, 2009

Dear Ben Zona
I can not fill out the application form if you did not assure me that you send the money which is $500 dollars i will use in coming to Israel.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins,
Rabbi Ben Zona
October 24, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
This doesn't bode well for you on two counts:

1. You are a millionaire a few times over and you want us to spot you $500.
2. You haven't even completed a job application, let alone been hired, and yet you want a salary advance.

I suggest you at least complete the job application before asking the board to release any funds.

Incidentally, the position pays about $2,000 per month, so you might also want to go back and revise your salary expectations.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
October 24, 2009

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email i have to words for you first i am not in my country i am in Nigeria if i was in America i would not have asked you to send me $500 dollars for my fligth Ticket so if you can send the money to me so i can come to your country and please don't look at the money i made because you have that same money but you don't want to claim it because you believe thatit is a scam.

Second can not send some of my information over the internet i prefer i come to your country and give it to you with my hand not to send it via email.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins,
Rabbi Ben Zona
October 25, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
This is ridiculous. Why on earth do you want to hand-deliver a job application when you can send it over email?

I'm starting to reconsider my offer. Remind me what it was that had me interested in your experience in the first place.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona

November 10, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
I have not heard from you for some time. Our hiring period is rapidly coming to a close. Are you interested in working for this community or not?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins

November 11, 2009

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email i have told you before that can not come down to your country because i don't have money to come down there.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins,
Rabbi Ben Zona

November 12, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
I haven't asked you yet to come to Israel. We are happy to pay your way, but we must first review your job application. You know, the one you've half filled out. How hard is it to fill out a simple job application?

Take this on good authority - we reward our employees well. The congregation before has been known to supply first-class tickets.

The ball is in your court.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
November 12, 2009

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email i you to know that i will fill out the form but have it in mind that you have to send me the money for me to buy my ticket to come your country.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins,
Rabbi Ben Zona

November 16, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
I assure you that this won't be a problem should your job application be accepted.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
November 17, 2009

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email i will fill it out and send it to you when i am done with it.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins,
Rabbi Ben Zona
November 18, 2009

Excellent. I eagerly await your email.
Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Rabbi Ben Zona
November 23, 2009

Mrs. Jenkins,
Can I assist you in any way with the form?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(and then leaving this for a while, another stab at it:)

Rabbi Ben Zona
December 28, 2009

To: Sam Coker

Mr. Coker,
Are you still willing to stand by your reference for this person? She seems the most unreliable.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins

(and nearly a month later...)

January 21, 2010

Dear Ben Zona
I am sorry for delay of my email, i have been very sick is the work still available for me.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins,
Rabbi Ben Zona
January 24, 2010

Mrs. Jenkins,
I've nearly forgotten all about you! Glad to hear you are better. What were you in the hospital for?

There is work, but the original position is no longer available. I have hired a personal assistant, Mrs. Mimi Pontipine, who has proven herself quite adept at handling Patsch Intuchas. As I maintained previously, the board will not entertain any employment without the proper form being filled out. I believe you sent the form to me half completed; we would appreciate the rest of it completed.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(At this point I was going to knock together some health insurance forms, but if she didn't fill in the simple job application form there was no way she's going to go through 10 pages of detailed medical history. Re Mimi Pontipine: Anyone with small children may get the reference.)

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
January 24, 2010

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email, i will fill out the form and send it to you in my next email. I am very happy to here from you again

Mrs. Anne Jenkins
Rabbi Ben Zona
January 27, 2010

Mrs. Jenkins,
I'm wondering about you. It's taken you more than 2 months to fill out a job application. Frankly, how can I be so sure it wouldn't take you 2 months to do simple tasks at work? Can I trust you? If so, how can you prove to me that you're worth the $5000 a month?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(Yes, I did give her a raise in hopes of getting the forms faster.)

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins

(...and success!)

February 9, 2010

Dear Ben Zona
I am very sorry for the delay in filling the application form I have been going for check up with my doctor in Nigeria but now I am able for the work, I have filled out the application form and I am sending it to you so that you can check on it and know if it is ok by you.

I told you before that in my next email that will be sending you the form, so please check the attachment below so you see it for your self.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins

(No obedience school is definitely a disadvantage. I require my employees to be obedient. And no friends? What a loser.)

Rabbi Ben Zona
February 15, 2010

Dear Mrs. Jenkins,
Thank you for submitting your job application to work as my personal assistant at Congregation Patsch Intuchas. The shul board is meeting next Wednesday night where they will discuss this.

By the way, what were you ill with? I'm sure not only the board but also customs would be concerned with our sponsoring of a lady with some crazy disease like kwashiorkor or schistosomiasis.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
February 19, 2010

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email, i will like you to know that i am ok now because i have just finish my check up today so i am ready to work with you.

I will be waiting for your reply when you are finish with the board meeting

Mrs. Anne Jenkins
Rabbi Ben Zona
March 1, 2010

Dear Mrs. Jenkins,
Great news! The board last week approved your application of temporary work for Congregation Patsch Intuchas.

I'll make sure that Mimi Pontipine gets you the insurance forms and we can get started with the visa application.

Looking forward to meeting you.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
March 4, 2010

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email, i will like you to know i have an international diplomatic passport i can go were in the world i believe i have told you before that all i need is $500 dollars to pay my flight ticket from Nigeria to your country and you promise me that if i fill out the form you make i have the money to come down to your country so i will resume work.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins
Rabbi Ben Zona
March 10, 2010

Mrs. Jenkins,
Have you completed the insurance forms that have been sent your way?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(I never sent her any forms.)

Mimi Pontipine
March 10, 2010

From: Mimi Pontipine

Anne,
Are you trying to take my job from me? Who are you, anyway? Why is Rabbi Ben Zona interested in you?

Mimi
Mrs. Annette E. Jenkins
March 10, 2010

Dear Ben Zona
Thanks for your email, i will like you to know i have an international diplomatic passport i can go were in the world i believe i have told you before that all i need is $500 dollars to pay my flight ticket from Nigeria to your country and you promise me that if i fill out the form you make i have the money to come down to your country so i will resume work.

Mrs. Anne Jenkins
Rabbi Ben Zona

(then a month-long break from scambaiting ensued...)

April 25, 2010

Mrs. Jenkins,
Afraid to tell you this, but we've got a hiring freeze at the moment. The board isn't looking to add any new characters this side of Shavuot.

Unless of course, you want the job badly enough...

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

[Thus it ended - Anne Jenkins blew a chance on a great job!]

 

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